Balance
by Adi88
Summary: In stories, things balance. In life... they used to. And now you're gone, and I can't. Oneshot, Shigure's POV. Sequel to For Their Hearts.


AN: Okay, I'm writing this mostly because… I killed him! I can't believe it. I love Hatori; I didn't even realize how much I loved him until I killed him. And I didn't realize how necessary he is until I killed him, either… So.

Dedication: For Ha-san, in abject apologies and with much love.

I write. I am a writer; it's what I do. I use words and make them mean what I want them to. I use the truth, taking what I want and leaving the rest.

All part of telling a story. Stories reflect life, and we all know reflections are backwards. Sometimes they're outright twisted.

This doesn't make them any less real. Life imitates stories as much as the other way around. After all, stories are there for instruction and learning, for shaping lives. A cautionary moral, a history lesson, a philosophy conveyed…

And stories… stories have to have a balance. Good and evil, hope and despair. Whatever is on the scale, it has to even out. Life is a balancing act as well, between these same things and more.

Only life… in life, it doesn't come out as even change.

It used to. There was Akito, and there was us. Akito carried our guilt and shame, inflicted them and held us when we cried. We were all cursed, we all supported each other and once in a while abandoned each other. He was dark gray, we were light. Not black and white, but we didn't have to be. We just had to even out.

I upset the scale first. I know that. I only meant to bring us closer together, all of us, because it would make us lighter and him darker by comparison. There had to be a villain, something to fight, and Akito was the easiest victim. I just wanted to make it easier, pave the way… to break the curse…

But there was no one, not on the other side. Not enough. We're only human, whatever our other forms may suggest. Akito I could cast as dark, but it didn't make us better. Not really. Because we're tied too close to him, and what does that make us…?

Then there was Tohru. She was perfect. Adding her to the mix… She tossed all the pieces in the air and they still haven't come down. It'll be interesting to see how they land when they do.

Only… only she's perfect. Pure, white light. She couldn't hurt a fly to save her life. And Akito isn't her opposite. He isn't complete blackness. They don't even out.

This will force a play from him. I do like to stir things up. But…

But it doesn't balance.

And now, I don't either. Because you balanced me, Hatori.

We were the dam, the dike between Akito and the others. We were the middle ground. You because you loved them all, but could do nothing. Me because it was useful and I could do something.

We were opposite ends of the middle. We kept each other in check. I never let you throw yourself to the lions, you never let me outright harm anyone with my manipulations. You probably kept me from getting caught, really. And Aya kept us both sane and almost happy, loved us both so much that we had to believe that maybe we were worth it.

And then a man with a wife, three kids and a boring job tried to drive his truck with a beer in one hand and took you away.

Guess what, Ha-san? Turns out you were all that was holding us up.

No one can get sick without fearing hospitalization will reveal the secret. The children have been transferred to all-boys or girls schools because any stupid little accident could blow everything, with no one to wipe memories.

Maybe you were the one affecting things after all.

There's another ryu. A little girl with fuzzy black hair and big blue eyes. Her name's Yayoi. Aya won't see her.

There's a temporary family doctor. He's a nice enough man, really. An "insider." Akito appointed him, but won't speak to him except to answer medical questions.

Yuki's started college. He'll be the next true family doctor. He's given up, Ha-san. On trying to escape the family. He'll be Akito's doctor, if the boy lives long enough. He's resigned himself to his attentions on holidays. He and Haru are risking something together as well.

Ayame's lost it, that bit of himself. The one that kept us going. The child that believed in happy endings and that you and he – or at least you – would get one. He's finally grown up. You used to say you wanted that, Ha-san.

Akito's miserable. You know how he gets when he's miserable… He broke Hiro's arm and he's taken legal custody away from Yayoi's parents. Kureno, Yuki or Ritsu have been with him constantly to keep things from getting worse.

And Tohru helps, she really does, because she's white. She almost makes me think things could be all right again, someday.

And Akito helps and hurts, because he's gray, and I don't know what to think around him.

And without you, I don't balance.

AN: And now – I forgot to make this plea in _For Their Hearts_ – please review! Please, please please! I live for reviews. I feed off of them. Go and review _For Their Hearts_ too if you didn't before. Hands and knees begging.

No, I have no shame, why do you ask?


End file.
